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Do you need tips to help your child with dysregulation?

Learn about SEN dysregulation and its impact on children. Discover our practical strategies for emotional regulation to help your child thrive at school and socially.

Helping Children with Dysregulation

Dysregulation in children with Special Educational Needs (SEN) means struggling to control emotions and behaviours in ways that others find acceptable or useful. This might look like strong feelings of anger, worry, frustration, or sadness. It can lead to emotional outbursts, shutting down, or other challenging behaviours. Dysregulation can make it harder for children to handle their feelings, focus on learning, and get along with others, creating challenges at school and in social situations.

It’s important for parents, teachers, and caregivers to understand dysregulation, as it plays a big part in a child’s growth and ability to succeed.

Dysregulation and Emotional Regulation in Children
Dysregulation can present in a variety of ways such as anger, emotional outbursts, shutting down, frustration and other challenging behaviours

What is dysregulation in children with SEN?

When a child finds it hard to handle their emotions in different situations, it’s called emotional dysregulation. For children with Special Educational Needs (SEN), this can be especially tough because they often struggle to understand and deal with emotions or what’s happening around them. This can lead to responses that either feel too strong or too quiet for what’s going on. 

Some common signs of emotional dysregulation in children are:

These behaviours aren’t about being “naughty” or defiant. Instead, they show that the child is feeling overwhelmed or upset. Many children with SEN find it difficult to say they are struggling, so their actions show us how they feel. 

It’s important to handle these situations with patience and understanding. Remember that these behaviours are ways for the child to show their needs. By staying calm, being consistent, and showing empathy, adults can make a big difference. Creating a supportive and safe environment helps children with SEN learn to manage their emotions and feel better overall. 

Dysregulation and Emotional Regulation in Children
Many children with SEN struggle to explain how they feel and will use their actions to show us instead.

How dysregulation differs from typical behaviour

Children without special educational needs (SEN) usually handle their emotions in a way that fits the situation and can adapt to change quickly. For example, a child might feel upset for a short time if they can’t have a treat but will soon accept it and move on. However, children with SEN often find it harder to manage their emotions, leading to stronger and longer-lasting reactions that may not match the size of the problem. These reactions might include intense outbursts, long periods of crying, or frustration sticking around well after the event is over.

One reason for this is that children with SEN are often more emotionally sensitive. They feel things like disappointment, frustration, or fear much more strongly, which can make small challenges seem overwhelming. Changes, like moving from one activity to another, can also be especially difficult. Adjusting to a new routine or environment may feel unpredictable or confusing, which can cause anxiety and resistance.

By understanding these challenges, caregivers and teachers can better support children with SEN. Recognising their heightened emotions and helping them during stressful moments or transitions can make it easier for them to manage their feelings and adjust to changes.

The neurological basis of dysregulation

Dr Bruce Perry’s State-Dependent Brain Model helps us understand how the brain reacts to stress and why it becomes hard to stay calm. His model shows that the brain works on a range of stress responses, from a hyper state (where we fight or run away) to a hypo state (where we shut down). These responses happen because the lower parts of the brain, which control emotions and instincts, take over when we feel stressed or threatened.

For children with neurodevelopmental challenges, managing these stress states is harder. This is because their “thinking brain,” called the prefrontal cortex, might take longer to develop. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for logical thinking, decision-making, and staying in control. When this part of the brain isn’t fully developed, it’s much harder for children to calm themselves, understand how they feel, or think through their actions when they’re stressed.

When a child becomes dysregulated (feeling out of control), the communication between the emotional “lower brain” and the logical “thinking brain” is disrupted. Instead of working together, the emotional brain takes over, often causing strong and overwhelming reactions. It’s important to know that this behaviour isn’t something the child chooses to do on purpose; it’s simply how the brain reacts to stay safe in stressful situations.

Helping children build self-regulation skills means strengthening the connection between the “lower brain” and the “thinking brain.” This can be done by creating a calm environment, teaching ways to cope with stress, and showing children how to manage emotions through example.

Signs and symptoms of dysregulation in SEN children

Dysregulation and Emotional Regulation in Children
When children learn to manage their feelings and behaviour, they are better at understanding and handling social situations.

The role of sensory processing challenges

Some children have sensory difficulties, which means they can be either overly sensitive (hypersensitive) or not sensitive enough (hyposensitive) to the things around them. These challenges can make it harder for them to control their emotions and behaviour. 

If a child is hypersensitive, their nervous system reacts too strongly to sensory input. Everyday things like loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells can feel overwhelming or even painful. For example, a hypersensitive child might find a noisy classroom too stressful to handle. This can make them feel anxious, frustrated, or lead to meltdowns as they try to cope with the situation. 

On the other hand, hyposensitivity is when a child’s nervous system doesn’t react strongly enough to sensory input. These children often crave strong sensory experiences. For instance, they might bump into things on purpose or touch everything around them. This can sometimes make it harder for them to pay attention or follow instructions. 

Busy and noisy places with lots of sensory inputs can make things even harder for these children. They may find it difficult to stay calm or in control. By understanding these sensory challenges, we can work to create better environments, reduce triggers, and provide support that meets their individual needs.  

Actionable strategies for supporting emotional regulation

Managing emotions can be tough for children, especially those with Special Educational Needs (SEN). But with some simple and thoughtful strategies, it can become much easier. Here are some practical ways to help children regulate their emotions effectively.

Create a calm and predictable environment

Set up regular routines and create a quiet space with fewer distractions. Having a predictable environment can help reduce anxiety and make children feel safer. Use tools like visual schedules or timers to help them understand and get ready for changes. 

Use sensory tools

Introduce tools like fidget toys, weighted blankets, or noise-cancelling headphones. These can help children calm down, manage strong feelings, and concentrate better.  

Encourage movement

Take breaks to move around during your day by walking, stretching, or doing yoga. These activities can help you stay energised and feel less restless in a healthy way.

Teach breathwork techniques

Breathing exercises are a simple way to help children feel relaxed and calm. You can try fun activities like blowing bubbles, pretending to blow up a balloon, or practising slow and deep breaths together. These methods are easy to teach and can help ease feelings of stress or tension.  

Engage in tactile activities

Activities like playing with playdough, kinetic sand, or water beads can help children calm down and focus. These hands-on tasks give them a fun way to release energy in a positive way.

Spend time in nature

Being in nature can help you feel calm and relaxed. Simple activities like going for a walk, watching animals, or sitting outside under the sky can make children feel peaceful, connected, and full of energy again.

The role of basic needs in emotional regulation

Meeting children’s basic needs is important for helping them manage their emotions. Simple things like eating healthy food, drinking enough water, getting plenty of sleep, and spending time in sunlight are vital for their physical and emotional well-being. When children are hungry, thirsty, or tired, it’s harder for them to handle stress and focus, which can lead to emotional problems like tantrums or irritability.

For example, not sleeping enough can make it harder for children to stay calm and deal with problems. If they don’t drink enough water, they might feel tired or have trouble concentrating. Eating unhealthy food can lead to mood swings and make it difficult to pay attention. When caregivers make sure these needs are met every day, they help children build a strong base to manage their emotions, feel less stressed, and handle challenges better.

Dysregulation and Emotional Regulation in Children
When a child's basic needs like healthy food, good sleep, and enough water are met, it can help them manage their emotions better.

Supporting children with dysregulation

How parents can help

Offering empathic responses 

When children feel upset or overwhelmed, it’s important to respond with care and understanding. Try to acknowledge their feelings by saying something like, “I can see you’re upset, and that’s okay.” Speak calmly and guide them gently instead of getting frustrated. This helps them feel safe and makes it easier for them to calm down.

Avoiding punishment 

Don’t punish children for acting out when they’re struggling with their emotions. Punishment can make them feel embarrassed or even more upset. Instead, try to understand what’s behind their behaviour. When you look at their reactions with curiosity and patience instead of judging them, you can figure out patterns and help them feel listened to. This makes it easier to have meaningful talks about handling feelings in healthier ways.

Teaching coping skills 

Helping children learn ways to handle their feelings gives them skills to manage their emotions. You can show them how to do things like deep breathing, taking a short break to calm down, or trying grounding exercises when they’re relaxed. Practising these methods ahead of time makes it easier for them to use them when they feel upset or stressed.

Building trust through collaboration 

Help your child create a plan that makes them feel calm and in control of their emotions. This could include finding relaxing activities they enjoy, setting up a quiet spot where they can take a break, or deciding on signals they can use to share how they’re feeling. By working on these ideas together, you build trust and teach them how to manage their feelings, helping them become stronger and more resilient over time. Modeling self-regulation It’s important for children to see their parents staying calm and in control. This can be tough for parents, especially in hard situations, but paying attention to how you act is really important.

How educators can help

Incorporating sensory breaks and visual timetables 

Sensory breaks and visual timetables are helpful tools for creating a welcoming and supportive classroom. Sensory breaks give students time to manage their emotions and stay focused during the day. Visual timetables provide a clear routine, which reduces uncertainty and helps children feel comfortable, especially those who prefer structure.

Creating safe spaces 

Having a calm area in the classroom can help students when they feel stressed or upset. This space should be quiet and cosy, with items like stress balls, noise-cancelling headphones, or soft cushions to help them relax. It gives students a chance to take a break and handle their feelings in a healthy way.

Tailoring teaching strategies 

Understanding what upsets children is important for their success. You can help them by trying things like flexible seating, giving clear and simple directions, and giving them extra time to think about what you’ve asked them to do. These changes make children feel noticed and supported, helping them do their best.

Long-term benefits of developing self-regulation skills

Self-regulation is an important skill for children with Special Educational Needs (SEN) to learn. It helps them improve their social interactions, do better in school, and feel more emotionally balanced. When children learn to manage their feelings and behaviour, they are better at understanding and handling social situations. This helps them build strong friendships, communicate more effectively, and feel more confident. These skills make children feel like they fit in and give them the tools to form positive relationships.

In school, self-regulation helps children stay focused and manage their time better. It also gives them the ability to face challenges, stay engaged, and perform well in their studies. Emotionally, when children practise self-regulation, they can handle frustration, lower their anxiety, and keep a calmer mindset.

Learning self-regulation also helps children become more independent. It teaches them how to make good decisions, take on responsibilities, and handle new situations. These skills are key for adult life, helping them build meaningful relationships, maintain a job, and manage everyday tasks confidently.

By teaching children with SEN to develop self-regulation at a young age, we provide them with the tools they need to succeed. These skills can help them reach their potential and take an active role in their communities as they grow into independent adults.

If your child is experiencing dysregulation, feel free to get in touch with Bright Heart for support. 


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