Want to understand SEND School Avoidance?
We discuss tips and strategies to overcome barriers to attendance for pupils with special education needs and disabilities (SEND). Learn how schools and families can help.
For many families, getting a child ready for school can sometimes feel like a huge challenge. For families with children who have special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), this is often even harder. Their struggles with school attendance are not just about not wanting to go; things like anxiety, sensory processing challenges, unmet learning needs, or mental health challenges can get in the way. When this happens, both parents and schools can feel lost or unsure about what to do next.
The numbers show the size of the problem. In 2023-2024, 37.6% of pupils with an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP), the top level of SEND support, missed at least 10% of school sessions. Over 25% of autistic pupils in England, which is about 51,000 out of 200,000, were also persistently absent. For those with social, emotional and mental health (SEMH) needs, 41.1% missed school often in 2022-2023. It’s important to realise that these high numbers aren’t about defiance or children not caring about education. They reflect real barriers that make it hard or impossible for these children to go to school.
The good news is that when schools and families work together and use up-to-date research and a supportive attitude, many barriers can be addressed. This post shares practical, evidence-based strategies to help SEND pupils get back to school with more ease and confidence.
Barriers to attendance are the real obstacles- emotional, social, structural, or physical- that stop a child from getting to school. For SEND pupils, there are often many obstacles happening at once.
A survey by Not Fine In School found that 73% of parents of children who avoid school believed that poor SEND support was a big reason, and 70% pointed to anxiety or social worries. A recent government review highlighted unique barriers for children with SEND, including:
In 2023, over 1.5 million pupils in England had identified SEND, and 229,700 had social, emotional and mental health needs, the second most common SEND category. But only 24% of SEND pupils have an EHCP, so about 390,000 children need SEND support but don’t have legal plans in place.
How we talk about school absence in SEND pupils matters a lot. Phrases like “school refusal” suggest that a child is being stubborn or making a choice not to go. But for many SEND pupils, research shows something very different: they are facing real emotional or neurological barriers that make going to school feel impossible.
A better term, now used in the UK, is Emotionally-Based School Avoidance (EBSA). This means a pupil can’t attend school because of strong emotional reasons, especially fear and anxiety. EBSA is not the same as truancy, which is usually hidden and linked with breaking rules. With EBSA, children are overwhelmed by distress, not trying to make trouble. They aren’t skipping school to do something else; they just can’t face attendance.
EBSA often involves a cycle: the more a child avoids school, the less anxious they feel, and this relief makes avoidance feel like the only safe option. If a child stays home, they miss lessons and friends, which makes returning even scarier.
The key shift is to think of EBSA as “can’t yet attend,” not “won’t attend”. Most children in this situation are not lazy or refusing; they are struggling. Changing the language helps everyone focus on support, not blame.
Finding problems early makes a big difference. The longer a child is out of school, the harder it is to get back. Parents and schools need to watch for warning signs, which often start weeks or months before attendance drops.
All children can show some of these signs, but they are much more common in SEND pupils. Research shows that acting early, before absence becomes a pattern, is the most effective way to help.
To help children with attendance barriers, schools and families need a strong partnership. New government advice gives these key principles:
Before jumping to solutions, spend time understanding what’s really going on. This could include:
Blaming each other does not work. Instead:
Pressuring families with threats or fines affects trust and can worsen attendance. Instead:
The words schools and families use in meetings can make all the difference. Studies of EBSA show parents often feel blamed when the problem is called “parental failure.” Here are some better ways to talk:
| Instead of saying… | Try saying… |
|---|---|
| "Your child is refusing to come to school." | "We've noticed your child is finding it hard to attend. Can we talk about why and what we both see?" |
| "You need to get your child to school." | "There seem to be real barriers to attendance now. Let's see how we can support you and your child." |
| "This is truancy, and we may need to pursue legal action." | "We can see your child is struggling emotionally. What support do you think might help: a change at school, mental health help, or maybe a gradual return?" |
| "Many children manage this, so yours should too." | "Every child is different. We want to know about your child’s unique needs so we can help." |
| "We don't see why they can't attend like other pupils." | "Let's discuss the specific barriers your child faces and find solutions together." |
| "Parents must ensure attendance." | "We know you want your child in school, and this isn't easy for your family either. How can we help you?" |
When you know the barriers and have built a partnership, there are practical strategies that can help children go back to school. The best solutions are tailored to each child and address obstacles at home, in school, and beyond.
Schools need to look closely at what is within their control. Many parents feel schools could do more to help. Here are some ideas:
Some children need a flexible or part-time timetable to help them get back. This is a valid, legally supported option under the SEND Code of Practice.
Example: A child might go to their favourite subjects (maths and art) and arrive after the morning rush for two weeks. Each week, add a little more until they are attending full-time.
Schools must make reasonable changes to prevent disadvantage for SEND pupils:
Research is clear: many adjustments don’t cost much. The best ideas often come from changing teaching or policy, or how adults connect with the child.
If a child can’t come to school for a while, home learning is vital. Otherwise, they fall behind, lose confidence, and fear returning even more.
If a child will miss more than 15 days of school due to health (including mental health) needs, local authorities must provide suitable alternative education, like one-to-one tutoring. Parents can contact their local SEND team for help.
The first stop. The GP can check for health problems, refer to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS), provide useful letters for school, and advise on other services.
If SEND is suspected or support isn’t working, ask for an assessment by an educational psychologist. They can help find what support works best.
Stay in touch with your school’s SENCO. They can review the child’s needs, coordinate support, arrange referrals and help with statutory assessments.
Some areas have special EBSA support teams. Ask your school if this is an option. They offer early help and graded returns.
Families under extra life stresses (like housing, finances, mental health) can get Early Help through local councils. Schools or parents can refer themselves.
When school support isn’t enough, the local SEND team can look at EHC needs assessments or even suggest different types of school placements and guide multi-agency working.
There can be long waits for specialist support. While waiting, keep asking the school for all available help, look for private options if possible, ask for an early EHCP review, and document everything you try.
Navigating school avoidance and SEND barriers can feel like an isolating uphill battle, but you don’t have to do it alone. At Bright Heart, we specialise in providing the compassionate, expert support needed to bridge the gap between home and the classroom.
We understand that every child’s “can’t attend” comes from a unique set of challenges. Our approach focuses on rebuilding a child’s confidence and curiosity in a safe, low-pressure environment.
If your child is struggling to attend school and you need a supportive partner to help them find their way back to learning, we are here for you. Contact us today to discuss your child’s educational needs or explore our SEND support services to learn more.
Share this article